"dad, i'm 'coming out'."
i love the gay community.
i love my gay friends.
many of the most successful and most revolutionary people in the world are gay.
many of the top creative and corporate minds in our country are gay.
i feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many inspiring, amazing, gay friends. :)
and so it saddens me to hear about young boys or even young girls who are afraid to "come out" to their parents, for fear of not being accepted, or because they're afraid of what their parents might think or do. i am not a parent so i would not know the feeling of a child "coming out" to me, but i do believe we live in a generation where homosexuals may not have totally equal treatment compared to heterosexuals yet, (we're getting there!) but they're definitely accepted. society definitely would not be as colorful, cheerful, funny, and fabulous without the gay community. :)
on the other hand, it inspires me and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to hear about the sweet stories of how the dads of some of my gay friends came to know about, and came to accept, that their sons were gay. allow me to share a few of those stories with you.. :)
don't you think they super look alike?! as in carbon copy! martin is the eldest of three siblings, and he has a 23 year age gap with his dad.
martin didn't really have a "coming out" story, because as far back as he can remember, his parents already knew there was something "different and special" about him (martin's exact words!) when he was around 6 years old, he remembers attending a wedding and asking his dad, "can i be a flowergirl?" :)
when asked at what point in his life did he feel that his dad was proud to have a gay son, martin recalls, "what really touched my heart was during the first few times i was featured in magazines, and i didn't know this until my uncle told me, that my dad would bring copies to show to his friends and colleagues, and that he was really proud of me." :)
veejay is the middle child among 3 kids, he has two sisters, and has a 38 year age gap with his dad. back in 2001, daddy oscar joined our creator in heaven. though it may be a sad story, veejay talks about it openly and with so much love and acceptance.
just like martin, veejay didn't have any dramatic "coming out" story. he has two sisters and when he was a kid, he was already effeminate, so he felt that his parents already knew. but! veejay recalls this funny story growing up. "i can still remember when my dad brought me to a strip club to watch women dance! but nothing happened because we just laughed cause i closed my eyes the whole time! or nakatalikod ako! hahaha!"
he may not have confronted his dad about his being gay, but when he asked his mom about his dad's thoughts on his homosexuality, veejay's mom said his dad believed that having a gay son who is responsible, an achiever, and is obedient, is better than having a straight son who gives his parents a headache. :)
myrrh is child number 5 with 3 brothers and 3 sisters, and has a 38 year age gap with his dad.
myrrh described his "coming out" to be a long process of putting puzzle pieces together. from saving money to buy a new set of barbie and kelly and saying it was a "gift" for his little sister, to becoming their school papers' features editor and all he wrote about was fashion, to joining the cheerleading competition and dancesport group! his mom would just laugh about it, and his dad never said anything. until one day, myrrh went home to their province, tuguegarao, and his dad introduced him to his friends as his "son-slash-daughter".
today, myrrh feels his dad is so supportive of his choices in life, career, and love. now, whenever he and his boyfriend koko would go home to tuguegarao, his parents would even take care of the airfare and prepare everything for their stay. plus myrrh shares, "my dad wanted to buy me a big van and put a built-in bed and cabinets para daw mas okay my life because of the work that i do. feeling niya artista ako!" :)
jigs is the middle child of 3, and both his siblings are girls. he and his dad have a 27 year age gap. jigs' dad is more popularly known (to us friends) as retired vice admiral mateo mayuga.
many would think that it is ironic for a military man to have his only son turn out to be gay. jigs describes his "coming out" story to be a long one, and it happened later in life, when he was 21 years old. he says his dad was afraid and shocked, possibly in denial precisely because he was a military man. but that he has proven to be the same jigs his dad brought up, and that his dad has grown to love and accept him for who he is.
jigs shares that his dad actually didn't talk to him for a week after he came out. but that his dad said the sweetest thing after: "di ko man naiintindihan yang pinagdadaanan mo, ayoko lang yung pagtatawanan ka ng iba. kasi pag pinagtawanan ka nila, papatayin ko sila." jigs adds, "its actually quite disturbing but if you think about it, the context of his statement was quite sweet and touching. we were in a supermarket resto. i was teary eyed. i will never forget that day."
cheers to all the parents in the world who open heartedly, or slowly but surely, accepted and supported when their children told them they were gay. ♥