21 June 2011

"dad, i'm 'coming out'."



i love the gay community.
i love my gay friends.
many of the most successful and most revolutionary people in the world are gay.
many of the top creative and corporate minds in our country are gay.

i feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many inspiring, amazing, gay friends. :)

and so it saddens me to hear about young boys or even young girls who are afraid to "come out" to their parents, for fear of not being accepted, or because they're afraid of what their parents might think or do. i am not a parent so i would not know the feeling of a child "coming out" to me, but i do believe we live in a generation where homosexuals may not have totally equal treatment compared to heterosexuals yet, (we're getting there!) but they're definitely accepted. society definitely would not be as colorful, cheerful, funny, and fabulous without the gay community. :)

on the other hand, it inspires me and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to hear about the sweet stories of how the dads of some of my gay friends came to know about, and came to accept, that their sons were gay. allow me to share a few of those stories with you.. :)




meet daddy glen of designer martin bautista.


don't you think they super look alike?! as in carbon copy! martin is the eldest of three siblings, and he has a 23 year age gap with his dad.

martin didn't really have a "coming out" story, because as far back as he can remember, his parents already knew there was something "different and special" about him (martin's exact words!) when he was around 6 years old, he remembers attending a wedding and asking his dad, "can i be a flowergirl?" :)

when asked at what point in his life did he feel that his dad was proud to have a gay son, martin recalls, "what really touched my heart was during the first few times i was featured in magazines, and i didn't know this until my uncle told me, that my dad would bring copies to show to his friends and colleagues, and that he was really proud of me." :)




meet daddy oscar of designer veejay floresca!


veejay is the middle child among 3 kids, he has two sisters, and has a 38 year age gap with his dad. back in 2001, daddy oscar joined our creator in heaven. though it may be a sad story, veejay talks about it openly and with so much love and acceptance.

just like martin, veejay didn't have any dramatic "coming out" story. he has two sisters and when he was a kid, he was already effeminate, so he felt that his parents already knew. but! veejay recalls this funny story growing up. "i can still remember when my dad brought me to a strip club to watch women dance! but nothing happened because we just laughed cause i closed my eyes the whole time! or nakatalikod ako! hahaha!"

he may not have confronted his dad about his being gay, but when he asked his mom about his dad's thoughts on his homosexuality, veejay's mom said his dad believed that having a gay son who is responsible, an achiever, and is obedient, is better than having a straight son who gives his parents a headache. :)




meet daddy romeo of stylist myrrh lao to.


myrrh is child number 5 with 3 brothers and 3 sisters, and has a 38 year age gap with his dad.

myrrh described his "coming out" to be a long process of putting puzzle pieces together. from saving money to buy a new set of barbie and kelly and saying it was a "gift" for his little sister, to becoming their school papers' features editor and all he wrote about was fashion, to joining the cheerleading competition and dancesport group! his mom would just laugh about it, and his dad never said anything. until one day, myrrh went home to their province, tuguegarao, and his dad introduced him to his friends as his "son-slash-daughter".

today, myrrh feels his dad is so supportive of his choices in life, career, and love. now, whenever he and his boyfriend koko would go home to tuguegarao, his parents would even take care of the airfare and prepare everything for their stay. plus myrrh shares, "my dad wanted to buy me a big van and put a built-in bed and cabinets para daw mas okay my life because of the work that i do. feeling niya artista ako!" :)




meet daddy mateo of make up artist jigs mayuga.


jigs is the middle child of 3, and both his siblings are girls. he and his dad have a 27 year age gap. jigs' dad is more popularly known (to us friends) as retired vice admiral mateo mayuga.

many would think that it is ironic for a military man to have his only son turn out to be gay. jigs describes his "coming out" story to be a long one, and it happened later in life, when he was 21 years old. he says his dad was afraid and shocked, possibly in denial precisely because he was a military man. but that he has proven to be the same jigs his dad brought up, and that his dad has grown to love and accept him for who he is.

jigs shares that his dad actually didn't talk to him for a week after he came out. but that his dad said the sweetest thing after: "di ko man naiintindihan yang pinagdadaanan mo, ayoko lang yung pagtatawanan ka ng iba. kasi pag pinagtawanan ka nila, papatayin ko sila." jigs adds, "its actually quite disturbing but if you think about it, the context of his statement was quite sweet and touching. we were in a supermarket resto. i was teary eyed. i will never forget that day."



cheers to all the parents in the world who open heartedly, or slowly but surely, accepted and supported when their children told them they were gay. ♥

41 comments:

Makii said...

This is just truly inspiring. :)

Anonymous said...

inspiring stories...hope that someday i can also "outed" myself...

Anonymous said...

This is amazing. Fathers are often subtle when it comes to showing off feelings.

Im gay and never had a "coming out" moment. My father speaks to me like a son and never like a gay son. He shares principles in life that until now i use. He never says mushy things but he's a man of action. Im soo touches by this post. I feel for martin bautista, my father, after i booked a big time job, started calling our relatives and bragged about it. He's proud.

But its quite a miracle, that given the fact that i am adopted, my parents never brought up the gay thing even when i was totally pasaway and not the adopted issue as well. Sorry. Nah-share na ako ng life ko. Ahahahah

CazmiR said...

luvd it :) Yun ang isa sa mga pinakamasarap na feeling ng isang anak at magulang na tanggapin ka ng mama/papa mo at yung naging open sayo ang anak mo :)

bLack aNgeL said...

this is touching ;-)

Anonymous said...

When I told my mother that I am gay, she said "Di bale na lang na magkaroon ako ng matalino, responsable at mahusay na anak, kung tomboy lang. Nawala yung kinang ng mga medalya mo sa mga mata ko." This line still hunts me up to now. She also said "magpapakamatay ako kapag di ka tumino.".

kristina noelle said...

This is really an inspiring blog post. I was really touched. I also have many gay friends and I'm so touched for them. I tore up on Jigs Mayuga's dad's statement.. grabe lang... Basta ako, I go for equality. Everyone's awesome! Cheers for those awesome Dads (and also moms!) :) Thanks Bianca for this post! Ikakalat ko talaga to sa friends ko. I've been reading your blog (always) but, ngayon lang ata ako nagkalakas loob mag comment! though I always retweet or talk about your posts! Continue to be awesome! ILY! -always a fan, kit :)

Gail Dimapilis said...

I'm in tears! I'm hoping for my coming out moment to come very soon! Very inspiring and touching stories! I'm hoping to write something like this in the future, possibly my own story. Thanks Bianx! GBU

Anonymous said...

i am always inspired by coming out stories. I'am also a son of Military Man, and yeas it is hard for me to admit to them until now, but i know that day will come soonest, but for now im trying my best to say to some of my friends and for now the sweetest thing one of my friend told me is, "ayos lang yan, wala pa din namang pagbabago, ikaw pa din yung kababata at kaklase ko noong elementary," and not to mention i find it sweet since that friend of mine is a guy and hearing it from a guy is one of a kind since most of the guys actually make fun of homosexuals. Thanks and how inspiring those stories are :) i even like Kuya Jig's story, like him, im also a freelance and amateur make-up artist.

...rJt... said...

wonderful blog. I never told my parents especially my dad directly that I'm gay. But I believe he knew from the start that I'm different. I never heard any hurtful words from my dad though he has forbidden me from joining contests as others might just laugh at me. He's now with God but I know he is very proud of me.

I love Bianca! You are so inspiring. Hope to meet you and hear from you soon.. : )

Michelle said...

Wow.

kalansaycollector said...

i so love this post. :)

Anonymous said...

This is truly inspiring. I am 21 and I am not yet out to my parents. I feel like I've been left out on what could have been some of the best years of my life. It's really hard to pretend to be someone I'm not. But I'm scared. Really scared of how my parents will react.

I've been contemplating on coming out to them soon... so thank you for this. I might just be able to gather enough courage to finally come out to them.

Thank God I follow you on Twitter, Bianca! You're such a beautiful person!

-Aldrich

lei said...

wow! so inspiring:)

Anonymous said...

hello bianca,

i was inspired reading that blog. i'm proud of dads who still accepted their sons even though they are gay.

-Aerol

Anonymous said...

one of them is my friend. his dad is his number one fan and supporter. Happy Pride Month everyone! :)

Anonymous said...

I cried after reading Jig's story. I have a 6-yr old nephew and as early as now, he is already showing effeminacy. As a family, we are accepting already that when he grows up, he will likely be different and its fine with us. We will love him just the same. What concerns us most is when mean people will start to bully or harass him for being what he is. I personally see people doing things like that and for sure it will break our hearts if same things happen to our nephew. I can totally relate to Jigs' father that we might kill those people who will hurt him :)

- CJ

lynette said...

so inspiring!!! umiiyak ako habang binabasa ko ung post mo!!!! nakaka inspire sya!!!

Hail, Mary! said...

truly inspiring stories...hope all ths in the closet will have the courage to 'come out' ....

Hun said...

I have nothing against gays in general, but I still believe that homo/bisexuality, transvestites, and the like should not be tolerated in our society, much less in our Catholic country. It gives the wrong notion to the youth and kids that you can change yourself and your sexuality despite what God has made you to be. We should not encourage this so-called third sex since what God has created, only He can take away. Should one decide to "change" his or her sexuality, it becomes tantamount to defying the will and law of our Creator. Great article, but I feel that you should be more cautious about this sensitive topic. Thanks and more power.

Jian Marla said...

I love gays! My bff is a gay same with my first college crush who came out after we graduated and I really admired them. I was really touched with Jigs coming out story.Parents who has these kind of children were lucky enough.They help others through their own ways. Mabuhay lahat ng Becky! <3

GEORGIA said...

ah this is so sad and nice at the same time. i have a lot of gay friends who are amazing people.
lovely blog, please check mine out
DOWNTOWN WOLF

buninay said...

it's so true that this world would be boring and dull without these pretty folks. add the fact that they sometimes do better than a straight person does in mostly anything. i have gay friends, too, and i love and accept them for who they are.

Anonymous said...

@Hun
I respect your opinion, but you should learn more about homosexuality before telling everyone not to tolerate and accept the gays. One, it is NOT a choice and we didn't "change" our sexuality. Two, I believe the will and law of God you are talking about is simply to love and respect everyone, whether you're gay or straight or bi. I believe the good God doesn't discriminate nor hate, so why do we?

-Aldrich

Yan Birog said...

i love gays as well, i have a lot of gay friends, they're fun to be with and there's no dull moment with them.

but what i cannot tolerate about it is the homosexual act, if you know what i mean. what can you say about it?

K said...

Nakaka-touch yung statement ng Dad ni Jigs Mayuga. I'm tear-eyed now. :'(

gvgracy said...

Thank You for this entry bianca! It's very inspiring and heartwarming to read... There is really nothing wrong with being gay they are in every other respect so normal and they deserve our respect too! Kudos SuperBianca!

indigorocketeer said...

This is amazing :')

tim said...

Thanks for that wonderful post you have!

Anonymous said...

@Yan Birog
I love you for loving gays =)

But what is so wrong with the homosexual act? Sex is also a unitive act, an expression of love between couples. Yes, there may be promiscuous homosexuals who do not treat their sexuality as sacred... but the same goes with some straight people.

As for how we can't reproduce, I think the better issue here is whether we can raise a family well or not. And the answer to this is yes. A child just needs loving parents- whether this composes of a dad and a mom, 2 dads, 2 moms, a single dad, a single mom or anything in between. Capable gay parents are so much better than abusive and absent straight parents, don't you think?

-Aldrich

Anonymous said...

I have nothing to do with homosexuals, especially with gays, but if you have a family member which is a homosexual, it is really hard to accept it. Having the thought of what other people might think of you're family is really a big factor. So to those parents and other family members who have accepted homosexuals in their family, I salute you. :D

mymy said...

this is sooooooo inspiring!!!nice one ate bianca...im sure many gays out there are very happy and thankful to you..

GaLa.Ginn said...

amazing miss bianca..

Anonymous said...

so inspiring!

jigs was my batchmate during high school. may gf pa siya back then.

Razielle said...

Love this blog!

Ann said...

This inspires me alot :)

haydee said...

super nakaka touch :') i love spectacular gays :)♥♥♥

starlight said...

super kaka touch nmn yung last part ng blog. nice talaga! kodus to the blogger!

Jackie said...

This made me cry. I started blogging in 2003 as well, when i was in college.but didnt get to continue it. I admire you for being able to blog this long. Cheers & keep blogging. you are an inspiration to many.

katthenomad said...

This is AWESOME. Nakakataba ng puso. :) I have yet to come out to my parents (officially anyway), and this post has inspired me. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

naiyak ako dito closet queen din ako ndi ko alm kung kln ko kyang sbihin sa family ko hay...