tOdAy i mEt a "fAn".
i could hardly believe it. i guess i could say that all the work i do now, whether playing-doll-slash-dress-up when modeling, or babbling-and-goofing-around when hosting, or going-psycho-and-crazy while writing, are all my dream jobs. (yes i guess they are and i thank the lord for all that!) but i do all these for myself. i mean, i like facing different challenges, i like working my ass off, i like seeing the products of my hardwork, i like abusing my energies while i'm still young, i like earning my own money.. i don't really expect other people to commend me for the work that i do, but of course i love it and deeply appreciate it when people give me a pat on the back. and today i met michelle, a sweet girl who just turned sweet sixteen today. her mom brought her all the way to our house today to "see me", since she was a "fan". i could hardly believe it.
rewind: three years back. my first ever encounter with a "fan". i had just bagged an ad for pantene (and my first ever big pay check!) and an article-slash-interview on me came out in the inquirer. a few days after that, i got a letter from a seminarian in tagaytay, who was apparently so impressed by my answers in the interview. he even said that i "seem like a very sophisticated and smart young girl, who has so much promise". i really didn't know how to react to that letter. at first of course i thought it was a prank from my friends. then when i decided to accept it as a real letter, i still found it so weird! i mean, i'm really such a normal girl (or ab-normal even - ask justin or pepel!) so i really cannot imagine anyone "admiring" what i do. he even sent a picture with the letter, and hoped that i would send a picture back too. it was very, very flattering, but i really didn't know how to take it.
fast forward: three years after. as my mom and i welcomed michelle and her family into our house, i really didn't know what to say. i just greeted her happy birthday and led them into the house. i was being my usual sunshiney self, asking them if they needed anything and talking to michelle about normal teen-topics. (ack! just realized i'm not a teen anymore! aaah!) my mom, being the biggest fan in the universe of my brother and i, brought out a portfolio of all the ads, magazine editorials, newspaper clippings, and whatever little insignificant thing that has my face on it. i was quite embarrased as usual, and my feeling started to change when michelle started to reaffirm the clippings in the clear book. "ah yeah, i have that!" referring to a meg magazine from three years ago where i was the cover with carlos agassi.. (yeah i know what you're thinking, "what the?!?") things really started to get weird for me. how would i react to that?! i started to think, did i look up to anyone when i was 16?! i mean, yeah, there was vj sonia of mtv and tyra banks, but hello!! look at them! i felt too weird about it. i always think, how can anyone look up to me as a "model", i have scabs on my legs, i have dark knees, i'm kuba, my eyes bulge out, and in general, i'm very un-model-ish! but after a few more pages, and as i saw the look on michelle's face, i started to feel this very light feeling. my mom told me that this girl started to go on a diet when she saw me in a magazine, she was apparently inspired to become a model. i still can't believe it. i can actually inspire a total stranger? it was very inspiring for me as well. to know that i can influence other people. this makes my utopian self extremely happy! all my theories on smiling at other people, how whatever little thing we do can affect other people in a big way, and how our world can definitely be a better place, were all affirmed.
today i met a "fan", but i was the one who was star-struck. :)